so theres this fish right?.....[joke]

[Jman 31]

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:


#You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and
two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 Auto, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family. What
do you do?
..................................... ........................


THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:


Democrat's
Answer :


Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does
the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that
would inspire
him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife
think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club
and knock
the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about
this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message
does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be
happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would
he be
content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold
on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call
9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have
paint and weed day and
make this happier, healthier street that
would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to
debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.

.........................................................................


Republican's
Answer:


BANG!


.....................................................................


Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those
the
Winchester
Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next
one?!'
Wife: 'You ain' t taking that to the Taxidermist!

[sadalius]

ok, ok, I fall under the redneck category. Right down to the daughter identifying the types of bullets I used

[Jman 31]

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: 'If we don't get some support
soon, people will think we're nuts.'

[walker72]

That's pretty good J man Saggy nuts I mean HAHAHAHA

[Jman 31]

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

-------------

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one.

[sccrbrandon4788]

Thats funny right there, I don't car who ya are! Thats funny!

[Jman 31]

Gator Negotiation

Gatorman wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot F.S.U. girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.

One day Gatorman got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you...' The F.S.U. girl looked at him, then said, 'NO.'
Gatorman said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her F.S.U. boyfriend.... So she called him and explained the situation.

Her F.S.U. boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the F.S.U. boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.

Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....? Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastard had all quarters!'